Video Blog #1 UPDATED

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What do you hope for?

The men from Judah said to me, "Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire." When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven. 

Nehemiah 1:3-4

As I begin to meet with church members and community members, listening to their stories of living in Kona, their family dynamics, work environment, and social relationships, I have a few questions that help guide our conversations.  One of the most important questions I ask is one of the simplest questions.  What do you hope for; what do you dream to see happen in this community?    

The question almost always gets at a deep desire within a person.  This question helps me see their passion.  I'm convinced the majority of people are not as apathetic as they may first appear; rather, there is a latent hidden passion within all of us.  We all care about something.  We all would give up a certain amount of time or money to be able to do something we care deeply about.  In many cases, we already do this.  A mom values her child's education so chooses to volunteer in the local school.  A dad values both bodily health and time with his son, so he takes him surfing once a week- carving out time from work to make it happen.  We spend time and money on that which we value.  

But the question can also point toward that which gives us pain.  In other words, asking for what we ultimately hope can give us insight into what is worth weeping over.  When Nehemiah heard about the plight of the Jewish refugees, his heart was broken, so broken that he spent days fasting and praying.  He assumed the brokenness of his fellow brothers and wept.  Asking for what we hope is the optimistic way of asking, "What makes you weep?"  When you look out over your city and community, does your heart break for those living there?  Do we know our communities and neighbors well enough to allow this to happen?  Or, are our hearts so hardened to the Spirit that we would rather ignore and bypass communal suffering?  Only a church willing to weep over the wounds of the community will approach that community in the humility that engenders transformation and healing.

When we read through Nehemiah we see that his grief cultivated a renewed spirit of work.  His grief was channeled into a type of prophetic energy that led to the transformation and peace of the city of Jerusalem.  His weeping turned into a hopeful practice of rebuilding the city walls.  If someone were to ask Nehemiah what he hoped for, we could intuit his answer stemming from his grief of a city in disrepair.  The King asks Nehemiah, "Why do you look sad, what do you want?"  In other words, what will turn your sadness into Joy (Neh. 2)?  And he grants Nehemiah safe passage back to Jerusalem, the resources to build the walls, and the time necessary to do it well.  

As I encounter those on the Kona Coast, my eyes and ears are being tuned to weeping and hoping. My prayer is that we as a community may be granted the resources and time to bring about the kind of redemptive change that stems from such tears.  

Week in Pictures

Trying on mama's shoes. 

Uncle Ed fixing our sink. 

Justice talking to her friends on the "phone."  

This sign, in the middle of the rec center parking lot, led to us a little gem-of-a-beach. 

Justice learning to swim from the pro. 

The beginning of a book shelf. 

What do you see?

We've been in Hawaii now for three weeks, and I'm beginning to be asked the question, "What are you doing?"  And while I understand the sentiment behind this question- the longing for some kind of change to be immanent, the new haole* face that is both hopeful and suspect in the same smile- I can't help but think the more appropriate question might be, "What do you see?"

It's really easy to jump into a situation and start doing a bunch of stuff without taking the time to observe.  For those who are driven to be a part of any kind of social and spiritual transformation, the slowness of listening is borderline drudgery.  We fool ourselves into thinking that our doing equates to positive movement.  Not all movement is equal, especially in relation to a new context with different issues, different people, and different identities.  If we don't take the time to observe and learn, our hasty actions may cause more harm to those with whom we wish to be friends.

Learning to see is always the first step in any work.  We must ask the question, "What's going on here?"  How does the story of this community in Kona relate to the story God's redemptive work?  And, we can't understand how God is moving and will continue to move in this place unless we first understand this place.  Joy and I enter into this community like infants, dependent on the community to teach us their pattern of life, their culture.  If we don't take this time, remaining blind to the nuances of life in Kona, our ministry here won't be effective.  Without dedicated time to observe, we will continue to carry our cultural heritage and language over/against this place, expecting conformity to our way of doing things.

Ultimately, our guide is Christ's move into humanity- the Incarnation.  Just as God fully immersed God's self into our state of living, taking on human flesh and the cultural heritage of Jewish life and all the social and political instability of first century Palestine, we too must fully immerse ourselves into a different culture, allowing our cultural blindness to be restored.  We must be given new eyes.

Pastor Ryan is in the middle of series on Vision.  He preached, "Our witness to this community cannot begin with a crow bar, using texts to prove people wrong, but with our posture praying, 'My Lord and My God.'"  For us, this means entering into this place with humility.  We do not want to force our way into change, especially when we do not yet understand the measure of change that God desires.  And that's the rub, we know God is working here in Kona.  We know God has gone before us preparing people and places for our arrival.  We know there is a general darkness in need of Christ's light.  The Kingdom of God is real, physical, tangible transformation that can be seen and touched through God's people.  But we need to first learn what God's salvation looks like in this place.  What needs saving?  What gifts and graces in the community are latent and just need to be watered?  What powers need to be critiqued and countered, and who are the ones who have been marginalized and oppressed by those powers?  Who are the ones open to our presence in this place?  What work of God has started already that we can join?

The next few months, we'll be in the process of receiving new eyes.  And we'll be sharing some of our observations and reflections with you as we learn to see again.

* Haole is the term used in Hawaii for foreigners, tourists, mainlanders, or just plain old white folk.

General Update

• We bought a car! 

• Eric continues to interview for a job.  The next phase is Monday - prayers appreciated. 
• I am in the process of becoming a volunteer at a local elementary school that's within walking distance of our home. It turns out I need to fill out a few applications, have an interview, and a TB test. I hope to have all of that completed this next week. 
• I have been in contact with two different playgroups/moms groups. One is a playgroup that meets weekly and the other is a moms group that meets monthly. I plan to attend both of these groups this week :) 
• Eric is busy meeting with church members, local pastors, community members, and community groups. Right now, our role is to observe, learn, and know the community and context of our new place. He is also plugging into our local church, attending staff meetings, prayer groups, and spending time with Pastor Ryan to better acclimate to a new congregation.
• We are feeling settled in our transitional space. Actually, we feel so settled that we're not looking for another house yet. We want to have outside employment lined up before we move, and we also want to spend time getting to know the various neighborhoods before we commit to a location. 
• The details of our move have taken up more time than we anticipated. We had some damaged furniture in the move, and Eric has spent time almost every day for the past 10 days or so dealing with the insurance claim. And while opening a new credit union account was easy, transferring funds from our bank in Tennessee has not been quite so easy.  Right now we are trying to make sure we have all of our bases covered as far as automatic withdraws for student loans, health care ministry, etc. 
• We met our fundraising goal!! Thank you, thank you, thank you for helping us along this journey. Any additional funds (not yet pledged) will go first towards a midwife, and second towards year two of our ministry in Hawaii. 
• We have gone to a beach one day each week that we have been here. Justice loves the "sandbox!" 

Transparency

Allow me to begin by saying, we are undoubtedly right where we need to be. However, as we become more settled and the rush of "things we need to do" calms down, the reality of being transplants in a new city sets in.

While I consider it a great honor and privilege to be home with my daughter, it is HARD! It's challenging when I don't know where to go, or what activities we can participate in. I have been spoiled this past year with a fantastically supportive MOMS Club, and a daily calendar of activities and playgroups in the homes of other mamas. I'm not looking for all-day entertainment here, I'm looking for an hour out of the house. An hour when I can look in the faces of other dedicated, struggling, and beautiful moms who are giving their best to their children. A time when I can share a laugh, or share some tears. A time when another mom can say, "Hang in there. We're in it together."

In full transparency, perhaps another reason I'm struggling this week is because I've been working during the days for the past 3 months, and Eric has been home. Looking back over the past 5 years, my times of greatest struggle are when I'm unemployed. And here I am, in week TWO of not having a job, and I'm going a little stir crazy!

I know I'm not alone. And I know that any of you who have moved to a new city can relate. This is, quite simply, part of acclimating into a new community. Soon, these emotions will pass. Soon, our calendar will be full and we will practice saying NO in order to preserve our sacred family time. Soon, we will begin to make friends. And instead of sitting at this picturesque coffee shop on the beach alone, I'll be sharing life with another.

At dinner time daily, when we pray with Justice, we thank God for our blessings. Today I'm thankful for the blessing of technology; for FaceTime, for email, for the phone. And I'm so incredibly thankful for the Fasani family. Most missionaries are planted in communities where they literally know no one. We are so fortunate to already know a family we met in Nashville a few years ago, thankful to be in this mission with a team.

First Week

We've moved in, hung a few pictures on the wall, and purchased a few things that didn't make the move with us (garbage can, toaster, blender, etc.).  We're feeling as settled as we expect to feel.  We know we are living in a transitional space, and driving a borrowed car.  While those realities are with us daily, we are trying to not be anxious.  We are blessed with everything we need right where we are.  And Justice has friends just a few steps outside our door.  Oh, how she loves having playmates!

Those we have spoken with are seeking, "updates, updates, updates!"  So here's what we can share.

1. Our little family is trying to form new rhythms.  We have been shopping an unbelievable amount of times; trying to find the best and most cost effective way to grocery shop, as well as picking up necessities that didn't make the move with us.  Every day brings about new things that we forgot about. We try to make these trips in the mornings, while we focus our day/time around acclimating Justice well.  This has been extremely important to us, as we know our little girl has been through significant transitions these past few months.  We are grateful to say, she is doing quite well.  Sleep patterns have returned, independent play time has returned, and our little J-bird is growing right up!  Her sentences are astounding, and her creative play has really taken a leap this week.

2. We are meeting people.  The church hosted a potluck in our honor.  We had ample time to socialize and begin forming relationships with the people we will worship with on a regular basis.  Over the weekend, we attended a prayer meeting with a few families who are trying their best to be intentional about discipling their children.  And one day last week, I attended a movie and discussion called "The Guerrilla Midwife." I was able to meet fellow pregnant mamas, a few midwives, and potential friends.

3. Eric had his first interview a few days ago at a local coffee shop.  We are prayerfully considering our employment options, and hopeful to integrate these schedules as well.  I am anxious to get out of the house a few days a week, and I hope to volunteer at a local elementary school as soon as Eric has a work schedule!

The people we are meeting are grateful we are here.  We have been received warmly from the church community.  However, right after the "We're so glad you're here..." pronouncement comes the second sentence.  Folks seem genuinely interested in letting us know the work we are doing will not be easy.  Already in our first week we've heard about brokenness, hurt, neglect, abuse... the struggles of the community.  And from what we gather, the hurt is deep.

Looking forward, we would be honored if you would join us in praying for our family.  Pray for us to continue to develop healthy habits, for it is only out of our health that we can effectively minister to others. Pray for employment that will be an eye into the community.  Pray for maternal care during the rest of our pregnancy and birth.  We have just begun calling and meeting midwives!