Advent Reflection

(Warning: Theological Content to follow).

Every year Joy and I prepare for Christmas in what has become a traditional way.  After Thanksgiving (and not before), we take out a small box of Christmas decorations: two nutcrackers, family ornaments, stockings, and a nativity.  We bake gingerbread cookies, make hot cocoa, and set the music to Over the Rhine’s “Snow Angels” as we decorate the tree.  Gingerbread cookies, Snow Angels, and the movie Children of Men only appear during the weeks leading up to Christmas, during the season of Advent, filling the weeks prior to Advent with a type of anticipation of its own. 

Advent is my favorite time of year.  This holy time marks, for me, a special moment of both reflection and preparation, of contemplation and action.  During this time, our memories are jarred once again to the notion that God has come in Jesus, is present with us, and will come again.  Alongside Mary, we celebrate the annunciation of the Coming Lord.  We celebrate what God has already done.  And like Simeon, we wait in eager expectation of the fullness of God’s righteousness to be completed on earth as it is in heaven.  We celebrate and long for what God has yet to do.

This year, we added another Advent portion to the season.  We pulled together an Advent walk through scripture, a reading in the Gospels, Prophets, or Psalms each day of the week, and two on Sunday.  Each morning at breakfast, we have Justice open up the next colorful envelope and hand the card to mama or daddy.  She recognized early that the last card, the one marked 25, is the only Pink card on the line.  About a week ago, she started asking whether we could open the Pink one.  We tell her that it isn’t yet time, that it will be opened, and that she needs to be patient.  And yet, almost like a prayer, she continues to ask whether she can open the Pink one.

It’s amazing how children help guide us during these times.  Something as simple as one color by itself can fill a child with anticipation.  Her waiting for that envelope is not unlike our waiting for the Coming Lord.  This year, two revelations have been restored in my thoughts while traveling through Advent.

1). Advent/Christmas remains a time we remember the radical nature of a Missionary God.  Perhaps because Joy and I live into the vocational calling of “missionaries,” I’m continually struck by the missionary nature of the Incarnation.  That is, God sent the Son to be with us in order to reconcile all of creation to be one with its Creator.  In the Gospel of Matthew, the words of Isaiah ring forth: “The virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call him Immanuel, which means God with us.”  And Philippians 2 adds that Jesus did not consider equality with God something to hold on to, but rather became like us. 

Most Christians understand that a wide gap exists between God and humanity.  That is, we are not God.  And yet, God chooses to enter into our existence, into the depths of humanity and even death, in the person of Jesus.  It is then, through Jesus that we understand God’s nature as a God-on-the-move.  God is on the move to restore, redeem, heal, and reconcile the brokenness of our lives and bring them into a loving fullness described as abundant life through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.  David Fitch and Geoff Holsclaw describe it like this, “God is set loose in the world for mission, fully as God and man. God’s very presence is bursting out into the world in and through the death of the Son” (38).  The Incarnation is a missionary act.  God’s movement toward us describes the mission of God to redeem the world. And it is a movement that we ought emulate.

2). The missionary act of entering into a new culture is one met with waiting and patience.  Advent remains that time of year in which the church remembers that we are a people between time, an “already but not yet” community that both mourns the brokenness around us and anticipates the new life that has already come and is coming through Jesus of Nazareth.  In Matthew, we read parables of waiting and readiness (Matthew 25).  We are told to anticipate and be ready for the Coming of the Lord.  The way the church prepares for this coming is by living in the present the kind of Life that God, in Jesus, proclaims.  We are to be a visible marker of the Kingdom of God for the world to see.  In this way, the church is an extension of the incarnation for the sake of the world.  And yet, we are grieved by the amount of death, brokenness, sickness, and isolation all around us.  We live in the tension between the brokenness of our communities and the patient hope of renewed life through Jesus Christ.

Joy and I spent 3 months in a type purgatorial waiting.  Between ending jobs in Nashville, moving out of our apartment, and living in my mother-in-law’s basement, we spent a fair amount of time waiting to move to Hawaii.  But once here, we’ve found a whole new meaning for being patient.  Learning a new culture, meeting new people, establishing new friendships, and beginning a new ministry position (all while anticipating the birth of our second born), all takes a lot of time.  Through it all, the hurts and pains of our neighbors are becoming even more realized.  Our prayers are becoming more poignant, more invested in this place.  We truly believe that we are a part of a team and a church that that will witness faithfully to God’s Kingdom come here on the Kona Coast, but a lot of our work is still very much preparatory.  

Advent has once again reminded me of the need to be patient; that God’s Kingdom does not come by my ability and skill, but only through the grace and presence of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Advent has allowed me to slow down, recognize the importance of my presence-for-others, and truly live into the call of missionary.  

Parenting to My Weakness

Parenting can be such a battle at times.  And challenging.  But also joy-filled and awe-inspiring.  One of the inspiring things we've witnessed lately is Justice's love of music.  The girl is captivated.

We have sung to Justice since before she was born.  We know that music has had a soothing effect when she's tired, or a calming effect when we choose the right song.  The past few months we've had a lot of fun singing songs with motions.  And most recently, Justice has taken dance to a whole new level.

It's not uncommon for Justice to pick up a random object or toy, pretend it's a guitar, and ask one of us to sing; or tap her fingers on the table and call it a piano; or lay in bed for an hour before falling asleep, singing her favorite songs to her animal friends.  Recently we went to a small town Christmas festival, and along the street were various artists singing, playing ukeleles, or dancing hula. She loved it all.  And then we passed a woman playing a harp.  Justice was mesmerized.  We were close enough to touch it (and eventually did), but her eyes were still so big as she took in the beautiful music coming from the strings.

It has been fun to sing and dance with Justice.  To teach her songs, to hear her request her favorites, to watch her "teach" her animals.  But to be honest, it's also a little frightening.  I have zero musical talent, struggle to keep a beat, and my knowledge of instruments is severely limited.  As a parent, how do I foster this love Justice so clearly has, when I don't have the talent or the skill?  Or worse yet, will my ineptitude hinder her?

I know she's only two, we have a long way to go, and it's possible this musical infatuation is only a phase.  Either way, I don't want to be in the way of something that could be a life-long love.  And more importantly, Justice will surely have other skill sets that I don't share.  So I'm interested, parents, in your feedback.  How have you fostered a skill your child possesses that you don't?  In my particular example (music) the most obvious answer is to put her in a music class.  So let's get creative.  When finances are tight, what else have you done?  Books (or CDs) from the library? Exchange services with a friendly, and talented, neighbor?  What other suggestions do you have?

Family Health

We are learning a lot about the health of our family these days.  I thought I would take a minute to share, and also invite you, the reader, to share your ideas with us.

I know the reality of "family health" will be ever evolving as we walk through various stages of life.  The two most obvious factors for us to consider currently are our marriage, and having young children.  The best marriage advice I've received is this: Marriage is a living organism.  It must be nurtured in order to survive/thrive.  I'm most interested in my marriage thriving.

Our transition to a new culture, new jobs, new child on the way, etc. has lead to a few changes in our regular routines.  Eric and I are certainly not experts, but we are faithfully and prayerfully trying.  One of our biggest adjustments (as I imagine would be the biggest adjustment for any family in a big move) has been learning the rhythms and patterns of a new job.  And in our case, one of us (me) not having a job for the first time ever.  Eric's job as a barista has planned, scheduled hours.  This is easy to work with.  But our jobs as missionaries are different.  As a little side note, we see our missionary work as team work.  We are both committed, we keep each other informed, we brainstorm and pray together.  We value one another's opinions, viewpoints, and perception of this world.  But on a very practical level, Eric does a lot more "work" than I do.  During this stage of life, I'm home with Justice.  Eric schedules meetings in the community nearly every day, and the bulk of what society perceives as "work" falls on Eric's shoulders to carry out.

This balance of work (as missionary) and home is a new one for us to navigate.  How do we remain faithful both to our work, and to our family when we don't have scheduled "hours." And when community events and church celebrations often fall on Saturdays and Sundays.  If we forget to make our family just as much a priority as our work, this balance is very easily tipped.  It's easy to work 7 days/week.  When Eric is scheduling meetings with community leaders, he schedules them during daytime hours.  But when he's attending public meetings like those for Habitat of Humanity, they are in the evening.  If we're not paying attention, our schedules are full.  I imagine you can live like this for awhile.  After all, we're doing Kingdom work, right?  Isn't "God's work" most important?

We believe our marriage, and our family, are also God's work.  Even more, we believe our marriage and our family are no less important than "professional work."  In fact, modeling for those around us what it means to be healthy as a family is an intricate part of our work in the community.  When we sit down to collaborate our calendars each week, we schedule family time.  Most of the time, it's scheduling a trip to the beach because we know our girl will love it.  If possible, before we schedule the week's meetings and appointments, we block out a chunk of family time.  Because of the barista job, this isn't on a consistent day.  It's unfortunate, but it's doable.  We also have created a standing date-night for the two of us.  Sometimes the days are long and the weeks are longer.  Sometimes I just want to sleep.  But our date nights are important.  Oh, so incredibly important.

One other thing I haven't mentioned yet is the necessity for individual time.  Ironic, because I'm using mine right now :)  We know that for our individual health we need a few minutes each week to be alone.  It looks different for each of us.  Sometimes I want to go for a long walk.  Today, I want to sit at a coffee shop with my computer and a journal.  Eric often times wants a book and music.  Or sometimes he wants to surf.  Because we understand how renewing this time is for ourselves, we are generous in creating that time for the other.

So how does this all come together?  I guess I've outlined three things we do every week to create a healthy balance for us.  Family fun, date nights, and individual time.  God doesn't want us to burn out, and we don't want to either!  I'm curious to know what others are doing?  What boundaries are particularly helpful for your family to remain healthy?  What activities have made your "top 5" list?  As our girl grows, and as our family grows numerically, what others will become necessities?  One I foresee in the not-too-distant-future are date-times with our daughter.  As Justice becomes a big sister, and also as she grows as a person, she will need these times too.  She will need family fun time, she will need Daddy-Justice time, and she will need Mama-Justice time.  I don't know what that will look like, but I know it will be important. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!