The last blog explored our church moving toward a worship service inclusive of the whole family- children and adults together. You can read about it here.
So, if your kids are with you for all, or part, of a church worship service here are some practical tips on preparing for such an adventure!
Pop Praise: This happens at my church every week. Practice at home! Seems like a great way to kick off the day at breakfast time. "I praise God for..." Does your church have a prayer that's said every week, like The Lord's Prayer? Or a time of greeting at the beginning of the service? Practice those hand-shakes! We all know a strong hand-shake, with eye contact, will help our youth in ALL of life.
Tithes and Offerings: Do your kids get an allowance? Have a job? Maybe are too young for an allowance, but still know that money is used to buy things? Maybe your children have heard the phrase "We don't have money for that." I know I've said it. Here lies an opportunity (at home, in the car, in Walmart the next time your kid says, "Can I get that?") to teach thanksgiving, that God has given us enough. Besides, it all belongs to God anyway. And if there's a way for your child to physically participate in church by placing money, or an envelope, or a check into the the offering plate... even better!
Teach rituals, procedures, church language, sacred objects, etc. On your drive (or walk) to church remind your kids the order of the service. Just a hunch, but after a few weeks, I'd bet your children know the order of service better than most adults! Here are a few places to start: alters, podium, offering plate, sermon, worship, prayer, tithe, communion. These can be funny words if you're unfamiliar.
Read the scripture ahead of time. Prepare your minds and hearts together. Many pastors preach in series or themes. I'm willing to bet if you approached your pastor and said something like, "My family has started preparing for church ahead of time, can you share your sermon topics/scripture references for the next few weeks?" most pastors would emphatically shout HALLELUJAH! YES!
Prayer: Usually, prayer is a quiet time during the service when one voice is heard. This can be difficult for children. Instead of becoming frustrated or embarrassed, take the time to explain to your child what is happening. Just whisper. Perhaps try a strategy for participation where you teach your child to repeat words or phrases from the prayer (in a whisper).
DON'T FRET if your child has difficulty focusing for the duration of the sermon. Let's be honest, so do I! Sitting, focusing, listening are all learned behaviors. Don't expect excellence on the first Sunday. Instead, focus on setting a good example, remind kids (and yourself) the reason you're at church in the first place, and pick ONE truth to plant in their brains as you head home.
And maybe the biggest tip of all - role play at home. Practice "church." AND HAVE FUN! Speaking from a pastor's perspective, we WANT kids to have fun, be genuinely welcomed, and experience the love of Christ when they are at church. If we constantly "shush" our kids and act like we don't have space for them (their bodies as well as their joyful exuberance about life), they will begin to think, and feel, and eventually know the church as an unwelcoming place. I'm pretty sure that's not how Jesus feels about kids.
I hesitate to write this final part, but I want to make sure this post doesn't come across as "she said let the kids climb over chairs during the sermon," or something else equally as distracting. Is there room for discipline and obedience during a church service? Absolutely. I would be mortified if my child used the alter for a jumping block during church. So we teach the sacredness of an alter, and we also teach (for our 2 year old) that during church we sit in a chair (pew) or on Mama's lap. During the service - outside of music - is not a time for running or walking or climbing. Have a child that struggles to stay in one place? Try squeezing a ball in your hands, or between your knees.
If you're thinking, But my child DID crawl under the chairs! Oh well. Try again next week. Ever had a bad dinner where your kid ate nothing? Or a horrible bed time? Or a fit in the grocery store? You cannot give up eating, or sleeping, or shopping. Don't give up on church either! These are formative moments and years. Let's all open ourselves to seeing and learning through the lens of a child.
