Wedded Bliss

I was having a conversation with a neighbor recently about dating and marriage. He was fighting his case that all couples should live together before they marry and he said something quite interesting. "When you date someone, it's like you're dating a representative."

Oh how true that is. During the dating process you are intentionally trying to make a good impression. Your "rep" puts the best foot forward, representing the good. When you get married some things suddenly change, for now you have not only the good, but the whole person. The following is an example of the "whole person" Eric married :)

My marriage has unveiled a lot of things, but I'd like to take a moment to mention just two; selfishness and a sour attitude (which is a result of selfishness). My pre-wedding days were filled with lovely thoughts of uniting with another, sharing life together, reaching for our dreams, and raising a family. I still think those are great thoughts, but perhaps there is another side of marriage that I thought very little about before I was married... that it's not all about me.

I am now living life with another human being. My "ah-ha" moment came when I realized that I had to take another person's thoughts, actions and feelings into consideration every day. My decisions affect Eric. My attitude affects Eric. My selfishness affects Eric. Maybe even more revolutionary was when I discovered that I'm NOT called to simply take Eric's thoughts, actions and feelings into consideration. Instead, I'm taught to put him first. This lifestyle of selflessness is the most challenging part of my marriage. Why has it become so easy to attend to the masses (work, friends, other obligations) and put off one person (my husband)? When in fact the example Jesus gave was to put off the masses for the one person.

My selfishness was challenged in a new way this week. I pulled a muscle in my shoulder/back while trying some new exercises. It hurts. It is painful to sit, stand, lay, walk, turn my head, lift my arm, etc. On day 3 I was agitated, cranky, and selfish. I was rude and altogether unpleasant to be around. Despite my discomfort, I had no excuse to treat my husband that way. He had every right to block me out and stop listening. Instead, he displayed his selflessness. About mid-way through the evening of Olympic watching he declared "I have an idea!" He went on to purpose, "How about you lay down and let me try to massage that muscle in your back?"

That night I was taught an important lesson. Marriage is about servant hood, selflessness, and sacrifice. I expected Eric to tell me to suck it up. He had been working all day while I had been home all day. After all, didn't he deserve a few minutes of peace and quiet? I'm sure I had been complaining to him from the moment he got home. Instead of asking for a few minutes to himself, he calmly and quietly gave of himself.

I believe this is the embodiment of Christianity. If I recall, didn't Christ come to Earth and give of himself time and time again and ultimately on the cross? This week I have been the recipient of Jesus' hands and feet on Earth. I hope and pray that my own selfishness will dwindle as I, too, learn how to be Jesus' hands and feet.

This thing called Food

Eric and I are cooking all of our meals for the first time in our lives. We've been richly blessed with other means of food service for the last 6 years, and before that, loving parents who fed us! Now that we're on our own, we find ourselves searching for new recipes often.

We enjoy cooking, both of us actually. It's probably because we both have a great love for food :) Despite our desire to learn, we find ourselves cooking variations of the same meals time and time again. Some of our favorites have become chicken and rice, pork and spaghetti. As of late, we've been scouring our cookbooks to find a few different meals. To our disappointment we haven't found much.

Most of our cookbooks are filled with great, amazing looking gourmet recipes that we lack the ingredients for. I'm sure we will build our spice cupboard over time, but until then we lack some of the ingredients necessary for gourmet food. We do not stock apricots, rosemary sprigs, fontina or smoked gouda cheeses in our home.

This leads me to my plea... Could you share a recipe with us? Some of our favorites have been passed on to us from our mothers, they are tried and true. If you have a favorite recipe (that's for the average person), please share! If we have the ingredients, we will try almost anything!

Will I Ever Learn?

This seems to be a lesson I may never learn. While I was in Michigan in June I was in need of a hair cut. I don't have a stylist there, and I didn't need anything special, just a trim. So I went to a walk-in hair salon. The girl was nice and it seemed okay, but upon my arrival home it was clear that the cut was uneven. My mom convinced me it wasn't that noticeable, so I kept it "until the next cut." Well I recently got my picture taken for a new ID card and let me just say it was definitely noticeable!

Let me interject in this story to say that I have a deep love for my hair. Yes, it's a bit excessive and I realize that, but it's true. It took me almost 2 years to find a stylist that I liked in IL. She was a great stylist and I trusted her. As I understand it, these people went to school to do hair. They have invested in their career and so I should trust them.

Back to the story... this week I decided to get my hair cut. As you know, I have yet to accept a job, so we're trying to be financially responsible. I found a coupon last week to another walk-in salon here in Nashville, just one short mile from our home. And again I tell myself "it's just a cut, nothing special, it will be fine." Regardless, she is cutting MY HAIR! I know that hair grows back and all that, but I have to wear it in the meantime... I absolutely care about the quality of the cut. Well my coupon was for a SHAMPOO and CUT. I show the lady my coupon, she affirms that everything will be fine, and I take a seat in her chair. She proceeds to lightly dampen the ends of my hair and she starts cutting!

About this time I'm giving myself a mental pep-talk about being more assertive... it's my hair and I'm paying for this visit, right? So I politely ask, "Ma'am, is there a difference between cutting hair when it's dry and cutting hair when it's wet?" (Now I realize I could have and should have worded that differently. I'll work on my pep-talk skills next time.) Her response, "Oh not with your hair, it's bone straight and won't make one bit of difference."

So how do I ask again? Or maybe mention that my coupon is for a SHAMPOO and cut? It makes a difference to me and I CAN tell the difference! Yes, I know I have some work to do on being assertive. So then she's just chopping away and as she gets close to my face I get bold again and ask, "Ma'am, are you planning on framing that around my face?" And she responds, "Well, if you ask me to. Is that what you want?"

So I did learn to be more assertive, and maybe I should have been more direct from the beginning. But again I go back to my original thought, she went to school to do this career, I should trust her. And she's the stylist... shouldn't she be asking me what I want? I used to look forward to my salon visits. I could come home with a fresh look and a new bounce. This week I came home a bit frustrated, a little embarrassed, and have yet to show off my "new look."

This seems to be a lesson I may never learn.

Recent Activity

The last 2 weeks have been a bit dull and frustrating... so Eric and I decided to do something about it! We visited REI to look at books on hiking trails in our area and we planned our first hike. We decided to drive 1 1/2 hours to do a pretty cool hike and see some waterfalls. We were pumped! THEN Eric remembered he had a meeting in the afternoon and couldn't go... so we re-vamped a little. We went to a local park/lake and hiked for about 3 hours, ate our lunches (that we had packed), and came home. In all it was a great trip and makes us look forward to more hiking in the future.














A few days later we went to the Nashville Zoo. We both love zoos, it was beautiful weather, and we had a wonderful day. We saw Timon and Pumba and all of the animals from Madagascar :) I've posted some of our favorites below. We also saw the stork that delivered me to my parents 24 years ago. Can you believe he's still alive?! Oh, and Eric had a lovely adventure on the playground, which you can also see!

Back in real life we're still job hunting. We believe we're in the final stages, praying that current opportunities will work out. I would say we're more hopeful than we have been, which is great. Eric starts classes in 2 weeks and he's pumped! Sanity is right around the corner :)