Pictures & Transition Update

The first big part part of our transition is only 2 days away.  Our belongings get packed, loaded, and shipped on Monday! The company we've chosen to work with will do the packing for us.  This is definitely a bonus, but it seems like we've done so much already.  Our house is nearly empty, and only the kitchen cupboards remain loaded.  Even those are much more bare than they were a few weeks ago!

We unloaded our last big items this week.  Well, almost (see note at end of post).  We sold our washer/dryer at a yard sale a few weeks ago and the gentleman was kind enough to let us keep them until this week.  A few days before he was to pick them up, the washing machine tragically broke!  Talk about awkward!  We sold them for $150, and it was going to cost $127 to fix.  So... Eric called and explained the situation.  We gave him his money back (of course) and then had a moment of despair thinking about what we would do with a broken washing machine, (all the while doing our laundry at the gracious neighbor's house!).  Eric decided to post the set on Craigslist, for $125 - honest about the brokenness - and within ONE HOUR we had 3 serious buyers!  A huge blessing!

We also said goodbye to our last remaining piece of furniture.  Apparently Justice was more attached than the rest of us.  She took off down the driveway waving and saying "bye-bye!"

Work continues to go well, and keeps us just-a-tad-bit grounded.  Eric and Justice are taking field trips around town almost daily.  She is loving the "pups" (puppets) at their weekly storytime at the library! They are definitely bonding as they visit the zoo, playgrounds, parks, indoor climbing spaces, and even shopping.  This past week they went to the closest splash-pad and played in the water.  Our girl loves her daddy!

NOTE: We still have our mattress and our cat to part with.  If you, or anyone you know, is interested in these 2 things, PLEASE let us know!  Our cat is creating quite a bit of anxiety.  We don't want her to go to a shelter, but we're down to just a few days.

We have also added a fundraising tracker to our SUPPORT THE MISSION page.  Check it out and track our progress! 

The Kingdom of God is like a Weed

Jesus was fond of parables.  These stories would cast a different way of seeing the world, stories that would help shape our vision in expectation of the Kingdom of God.  I spent a summer mixing concrete.  It was one of those activities that I did as a teenager laying foundation for homes and basketball courts.  And we mixed by hand.  We would fill up wheelbarrows of rock and sand while perfecting the ratio with bags of concrete.  Adding water and mixing vigorously with shovels in a volcano like structure, we’d get down on our hands and knees and smooth out the surface so it would be ready for the bricks.  It was hard work.  Concrete is a strong substance that withstands the weight of a car or supports the structure of our homes.  It’s a powerful mixture. 

I spent a lot of time on the cement basketball court behind my house.  I’d spend my afternoons after school shooting around.  I was never tall enough to be any good, but I could always run and my jumper became fairly accurate with practice.  I noticed that over time, the cement started to crack and weeds began to grow from underneath the cement.  My dad would take the most powerful weed killer and spray all over the driveway, but somehow these weeds kept taking over, spreading throughout the court and disrupting the evenness of the surface.  The concrete was weakened and new growth emerged from underneath the oppressive weight.  The cracks caused by these weeds forced my ball in a different direction, as if the weeds began to dictate the flow of the game.

Jesus tells us that the Kingdom of God is like a mustard seed.  It’s the smallest of seeds, and to be honest, the bush that emerges is not the most impressive of plants.  In fact, Jewish law forbade the growing of mustard in gardens because it took over everything.  For most, we would expect Jesus to talk about the kingdom of God as something majestic and grand.  Perhaps we would expect the imagery of the Redwood trees, the trees in California so big that you can drive a car through them.  But rather than something majestic, large, and powerful, Jesus uses the imagery of a small seed and a rather unintimidating bush.  But it’s a bush that influences everything around it.  It grows and spreads with a potent fragrance.  Mustard, like the Kingdom, interrupts. 

The Kingdom of God is like the weeds in my driveway.  They are small and patient, but they have the ability to push aside the oppressiveness that keeps them from thriving.  From underneath the concrete comes new life.  The gospel is meant to interrupt the oppressive weight of this world’s power.  Like the weed that causes the breaking and cracking of the concrete, a weed that forces my ball to go in a different direction, the Kingdom of God is slowly and patiently disrupting the patterns of death.  God’s Kingdom is making a home in the forgotten, unwanted, cracks and crevices of our world.

We're SO Busy: A Life in Transition

The past two weeks have been incredibly busy for Eric and I.  We have had some event or function or meeting every evening of the week and weekend.  We are out of our family rhythm, and we all feel it.

We have a number of new things happening in our lives.  Eric has finished one job (East Nashville Cooperative Ministry) and is now home with Justice during the week.  I have started a new job, and for the first time in over a year, I'm working every day.  I worked as a part-time reading teacher this past school year, but I was gone from home a total of 3 hours/day.  My current position, with the same ministry, totals about 6 hours/day.  I am incredibly grateful for Preston Taylor Ministry for a "job" that seems too perfect to be true, but it's still a change in our rhythm.  

Our family functions at our prime when our dear little one is on a schedule.  While we've been fairly consistent through the transition of primary caregiver, either Eric or I has been gone every night.  Justice asks (and whines) for the opposite parent, questions where "Daddy" is when we're in the car, runs to the door anxiously awaiting one of us to return, tries on our clothes, lays on "mama's pillow" or "daddy's bed," and is all together a bit more needy.  Needless to say, we are ready, and trying, to fall into a new rhythm.

One outcome I didn't expect is I haven't been a very good friend. You can probably tell simply from the tone in the beginning of this blog, I've been a bit self-centered.  I feel like I have been running around saying "I need to do this..." "I have to help with that..." "I have this meeting..." "I have a deadline..."  And I don't enjoy feeling that way.  What I notice upon reflecting is my tone and my word choice very much affects my attitude.  In our morning prayer time with coworkers this morning, another staff member gave a general reminder to be positive in our interactions with students.  While this is nothing new, I heard it in a new way today.  I heard it for myself.  This attitude check paired with my desire to be a better friend will bring change.  Now that I'm aware, I look forward to thinking about other people, catching up with dear friends, and intentional intercessory prayer for friends and enemies alike.  If there's anyone out there up for the challenge - I encourage you to hold me accountable :)  

Now... for a little life update: We had our "major" yard sale last weekend.  We sold all of our furniture, bookshelves, etc.  We will have one final yard sale this weekend to try to unload a little more.  We mainly have kitchen accessories, clothes, and a really random selection of everything from games, to extension cords, to picture frames, to blankets.  After Saturday, anything we aren't taking to Hawaii will be donated.  This week we need to itemize our list of belongings being shipped for the insurance company, and go through every closet and cupboard one final time.

11 days until our belongings ship to Hawaii
13 days until vacation with the Paul family

Living in the Midst of Change

I don't think we realized how long this transition would actually take.  We have certain markers on the calendar that note a particular change.  Each one brings us closer to the BIG change of moving to Hawaii.  But when someone asks us, "When are you moving?" it's been difficult to answer.  The actual answer is Sept. 2- we fly from Chicago to Kona via San Jose.  But, we literally "move" several different times.  On July 1, our home will be packed up and shipped to Hawaii.  It's hard to believe that it's only 2.5 weeks away.  On July 3rd we go to North Carolina to be with Eric's family, and then we move back to Nashville for 16 days, living with a generous host family from our church.  On July 27, we'll head up to Michigan for the month of August.  So much change/transition/instability!

But this week, we're feeling this transition more than most.  Last Friday was Eric's last day working with East Nashville Cooperative Ministry.  (You can read his good-bye letter at the end of this blog).  This marked the beginning of a new job for Joy, as the Director of a 5th & 6th grade Summer program in the Preston Taylor neighborhoods.  Which means, we switched roles.  Joy is now at work during the day, and Eric is staying at home with Justice, taking Monday and half a day Tuesday for church work.  On top of this, our church's VBS was this week, running from 6-8pm four nights in a row.  And tomorrow, we're having our BIG Moving Sale.  

As you can imagine, we're tired.  At the end of the day, we just want to sleep.  We're a bit overwhelmed with organizing into categories: sell, giveaway, throw away, and take to Hawaii.  And yet, tomorrow is another marker for us, another day that brings us just a little closer to our goal.  And at times, we have to take a step back, reflect on the good relationships we've cultivated, and practice saying good-bye.  Here are some words from Eric to the community associated with ENCM:

After three incredible and fruitful years working with East Nashville Cooperative Ministry, it is with a mix of both sadness and anticipation that I say good-bye and resign as the Development and Volunteer Manager.  My family will be following God’s leading in our life, relocating to Kailua-Kona, HI to work with a local Nazarene church for community development and discipleship efforts.  ENCM has been for me an important and formative organization.  Not only was I personally introduced to healthy and locally grown foods through ENCM (losing 20lbs in the process), but I also had the distinct honor to introduce our friends and neighbors to an organization that truly believes communal health is the work of the whole community.  I have learned that poverty is a form of communal unhealthiness.  I have also learned our low-income and homeless neighbors have much to offer us.  And I am grateful for their trust and friendship over the past three years. Ultimately, East Nashville Cooperative Ministry allowed me the space to gain experience coming out of grad school.  It was in this small 807 Main St. building and our multiple community gardens that I began to work out the head knowledge I attained in practical seed-in-the-dirt kind of ways.  I have witnessed children touching and tasting a tomato straight from the garden for the first time; I’ve played a role in educating our community about the importance of local economies; I’ve helped move unhoused neighbors into housing and friends enslaved by addictions into rehab; and I’ve watched fast food addicted volunteers transition to more balanced eating habits.  I will be forever indebted to this small community driven organization and will carry the lessons and memories with me into a new ministry.

The Hope for Bi-vocational Ministry

Over the past few years, I have had the privilege and the burden of working two part-time jobs: a privilege because of the communities I was serving and leading and a burden because of the low-pay and timeshare arrangement.  Even now that I’ve finished up one of my positions, I still think that I didn’t quite manage the shared responsibilities efficiently enough.  And at the end of every month, we are pinching pennies to hold off ‘til the next paycheck.  Yet, I’m heading into a new ministry where I will once again be bi-vocational.  So, I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the benefits of bi-vocational ministry. 

I should preface this by saying that these thoughts are simply that- thoughts.  I’ve also witnessed too many churches place their pastors through the ringer, expecting too much, paying too little, and damaging their families in the process.  The church ought to be the kind of community where burdens are shared, needs are met, and stress and worry are relieved.  Perhaps this has more to say about church hierarchy and the remarkable way it turns churches into a “fee for services” rendered arrangement.  And yet, a part of me is drawn, at least conceptually, to bi-vocational ministry.  Allow me to share three points:

1). Bi-Vocational ministry ought to be missionally construed.  Many pastors are forced to be bi-vocational due to financial instability.  But I believe bi-vocational ministry may be an effective way to lead alongside a community.  In my future context in Kona, my part-time job won’t be approached as “on-the-side.”  Rather, it will be a means to inhabit the local context, learn the rhythms of the culture, and be aware of the social dynamics that make up the place.  I can think of no better way to assimilate into a culture than by working within the community.  A job doesn’t just help pay the bills.  If approached correctly, a job opens one up to new relationships.  Co-workers, clients, guests, and work partnerships all connect an individual to a wide variety of networks already situated on the ground.  When open to the possibility of these relationships and learning to listen to where God’s grace has already begun to work, a part-time job enables all kinds of creative missional engagement.

2). Bi-vocationality strips away the divide between professional clergy and lay congregant.  I hear a lot of pastors preach on the workplace as mission field.  But I know very few pastors who are actual friends with non-Christians.  We spend so much of our time “shepherding the found,” writing sermons, studying, and stuck in church administration that “workplace as mission field” fails to stick.  It fails to stick because we have no experience in actually discipling Christians in the workplace environment.  We know a part of discipleship  is imitation; it’s hard to imitate a full time pastor because the social dynamic of work and life are so different.  A missionary-pastor who works alongside others in the community, embodying the way of servant-leadership and emboldening others to also live in God’s life and mission, is more equipped to call others to pattern their lives in the same fashion. 

3). Bi-vocational ministry depends on the gifts of others in leadership and the grace of God to continue to work.  The church has operated out of a very hierarchical model of leadership for millennia.  But a missional posture demands more shared responsibilities, a more communal disposition, and a dissemination of power rather than a centralization of it.  We’ve relied too much on the myth of a Cowboy-pastor who can do everything.  Bi-vocational ministry necessitates shared/communal leadership.  In this way of operating, listening and submission to the community come before our particular agendas.  We probably all have stories of someone bull-dozing their ideas through a committee or meeting, leaving other potential leaders impotent.  A submissive posture better enables the equipping of lay leaders to recognize and live into their God-given gifts and passions.  A bi-vocational pastor is kind of forced into this healthy dependence.  Ultimately, it creates space to once again know that we are not the saviors of our churches or community- Jesus is Lord.

So, what am I missing?  Is this possible on the ground?  Or, are there other benefits to bi-vocational ministry you’d like to share?

David Fitch influenced some of the above thoughts heavily, you can read further here:

"In Regards to Mission in N. America: We need a New Kind of Leader."

"The Fifteen Hour Rule: A Challenge to to All Church Planters- Stop working More than 15 Hours."

Weekend in Photos

We have had a lovely weekend, with mostly impromptu fun.  Here's a snapshot of the last few days: playing in the rain, Justice (finally) wearing the dress I made her several months ago, on the Cumberland River in downtown Nashville, and our anniversary date to the Cheesecake Factory for dessert!  YUM!

When We Don't Have Answers

This week we bought our plane tickets to Hawaii, and we got the contract (Bill of Lading) with the moving company. Two big things that help us breathe a little deeper.  And we are thankful.

However, this week we have also found ourselves asking questions that can't be answered.  Or maybe wondering things that can't be answered.  We're anxious about our funding because we're entering into a 5 year agreement with Kona Church of the Nazarene.  Thus far, we don't have any funding pledges that go beyond year one.  We find ourselves both daydreaming and worrying about housing.  It's exciting to wonder what our next home will look like and we dream about our future garden.  And then we worry (perhaps me more so than Eric) that we won't find anything within our budget, or we'll stretch our budget so far for housing that we'll be hurting in other areas.  Then I get sad that I'm leaving a wonderful, healthy, reassuring MOMS club here in East Nashville.  And I know it will take time to build new relationships.  

Perhaps this struggle is exaggerated by the length of our transition.  We accepted this call in April, having started the conversation in January, and we're not moving until September.  Those 5 months are more than enough time for questions and longings and doubt and anxiety to creep in.  

On our best nights, we find ourselves praying for God to provide, as God provides for the lilies of the field.  We read throughout scripture that God's abundance overflows to meet the needs of the people; from manna in the desert to fives loaves and two fishes for thousands of hungry travelers. We want to be a family of faith and learn to rest assured that God will continue to provide for us today as God has done in ages past and present.  And this gives us both hope and ease as we navigate this uncertain time.

This transitional time has also allowed us to talk with others about what we're doing and where we're going before we actually move.  And we've been doing a lot of talking.  One thing I've noticed, in a very general observation, is people have a lot of questions.  There is a common theme of questions surrounding finances and funding, so I'd like to take a minute to clarify some of that here.  

WHY are we fundraising?
All missionaries do some type of fundraising.  Most do a whole lot more than we're doing.  We are very fortunate to have a local church (Kona Church of the Nazarene) who is responding to God's vision for the Big Island and partnering with missionaries to offset our fundraising amount.

HOW much are we fundraising? 
We've been asked to raise approximately 1/3 of our annual living expenses.  This gets a little tricky to calculate because the cost of living in Hawaii is higher, and to be totally honest, we don't know what this will look like for our family.  We estimate between $12k-$14k annually needs to be raised.

HOW will we generate the rest of our income?
KCN has committed to providing our housing allowance.  This will allow us to choose a home for our family (within reason) in the neighborhood where we will be ministering.  ALSO, we will be bi-vocational (another post on mission through Bi-Vocationality soon).  Eric has thrown himself head first into learning about the Kona Coffee Industry, and Pastor Ryan is working on building relationships with local coffee farmers/shops to the prepare the way.  I (Joy) hope to do some part-time reading instruction or tutoring, but that might be limited in our first year.

WHERE will we spend our fundraised money?
We have a variety of needs, just like we would on the mainland.  The more obvious costs... food, utilities, phone bills, vehicle costs, insurance, the occasional date night.  We will also need to cover our own healthcare (Christian Healthcare Ministries), and we have quite a bit of student loan debt.  If you are passionate about freeing people from the bondage of debt, we will gratefully put any money beyond our "goal" to student debt ($56,000 total).

We love questions!  The realm of fundraising for a part of our income is still relativily new to us.  And, we want to be as transparent as possible.  If you have additional questions you'd like answered, please ask!  It's likely someone else is thinking the same thing, and we're happy to provide the answers.


“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:25-34

On Having a Loose Grip

I often look back fondly on the days when I could fit everything I own into my car.  I could pack up my stuff in less than an hour and be on the road.  It's a delightful feeling, one that gives a sense of freedom.  But life happens, as they say.  With weddings come all sorts of gifts.  And I found out quickly that my wife wouldn't put up with my bachelor lifestyle.  Before I was married, I just didn't care about what goes on walls, whether we use real curtains or a blanket over the windows, or whether we have a bed frame for our mattress.  Perhaps it's my frugal and pragmatic side: curtains are expensive, we don't need any more picture frames, and I sleep just as well on a mattress on the floor as I do with a frame and box spring.  But somehow, as the years increase so does our stuff.  And it only compounds with kids.  A changing table here, a few decorative plates there, and a box full of gifted plastic toys.

To be honest, I've been looking forward to the purge.  Joy and I never have a good sense of how much we actually have until we move.  I assume many experience this same thing.  When you first move into a new place, the closets are tiny and you have no idea how everything will fit.  By the time you leave, the same space transforms into a deep wardrobe that extends into Narnia- you just keep pulling out more stuff.  And, it's usually stuff you didn't even use in the duration of your stay.  I suspect some feel like it's Christmas when this happens.  Each old item strikes you like it's new.  Or, you remember why you kept it in the first place; a gift from a friend or relative, the outfits we hope will fit again, or the special dishes you like to use once a year for the annual Christmas party.

As we begin to sell and give away all of our stuff, Joy and I are beginning to feel some of the emotions that come with relative attachment to our stuff.  Selling everything (usually for cheaper than the value you give it) has a way of enlightening us to where our hearts are.  Seriously, why is it hard to watch someone buy my sweaters?  Is it the sweater itself, the sense of comfort I received from that sweater on a chilly morning?  Is it really just the way it feels, or do I feel like I'm losing a part of my personal style, personality, or identity?  Do we not wear certain clothes as a way of telling others who we are?  Is my collection of outdoor sweaters so wrapped up in how I want others to perceive me that I'm afraid of giving up the perception that I look like a hiker (even though I haven't done this in two or three years)?  Or, could it be even deeper: am I ready to move to a location where sweaters just aren't necessary?  I think how we hold on to our stuff says a lot about us.

Ultimately, the purge is healthy.  Too many of us hold on so dearly to our possessions that we are no longer the ones who own them; they own us.  And that's a form of idolatry.  I suspect many of us live in a type of "catacomb of consumption."  When our identity is wrapped up in the things we have, we lose the ability to discern who we are in Christ.  And, when we have too tight a grip on the things we possess, we lose the ability to use them for the love of others.

Our N. American consumption hinders the practice of communal sharing, which belongs in the realm of God's kingdom come.  It's not that its wrong for me to have sweaters, though it would be strange in a place like Hawaii.  But when I experience the true freedom that comes from Christ, it sets us free from the stranglehold that our possessions have on us so that we can better love those around us.  If we find ourselves having too tight a grip on our stuff, perhaps we should take a step back and examine whether we've fashioned God into our own image.  And when we've done this type of examination (which often takes the discernment of good friends), we can be released from captivity to meaningless things and liberated toward pursuing God's intended creation.

I am reminded of a quote by St. John Chrysostom.  He writes, "God gives some people more than they need, not that they can enjoy great luxury, but to make them stewards of [God's] bounty on behalf of orphans, the sick, and the crippled. If they are bad stewards, keeping this bounty to themselves, they will become poor in spirit, and their hearts will fill with misery. If they are good stewards, they will become rich in spirit, their hearts filling with joy."