Family

Living far away from our families is hard. For both of us, we have been away from home since we went to college, so being physically distant from our parents in nothing new. But there are certainly parts of this move that are different and feel brand new.

We've lived in Hawaii all of 9 months now and have already missed several family events, namely the funerals of both of Eric's dear and precious grandmothers. We're missing some major life events of our closest friends, and we know there are more special occasions coming in the next few months.

Moving to Hawaii we knew this would be the case. We knew in our minds we would miss some important times, but our hearts are feeling it afresh. Perhaps the addition of a baby and the cuteness of toddlerhood is accentuating the emotions we've been feeling. My heartstrings are pulled more by daily life happenings than by the big events. Yes, we are deeply sorry when we are absent from major family gatherings. We see pictures of family gathered from far and wide and wish we could teleport ourselves in, catch up with our cousins, hug our aunts and uncles. We do want that. But on an almost incomparable level is an aching for our children to know our parents. Both Eric and I have had grandparents in our lives with whom we have meaningful, formative relationships. We want that for our children.

I know that we have chosen to be here and we consciously made the decision to move our ohana away from our larger extended family. Despite the heartache and tears, we know this is the right decision and we have peace that we are walking with God. We certainly do not regret our move. However, I sense that our silence on this issue communicates our feelings incorrectly. By not showing our emotions, or talking about the pain and sadness, we have communicated that we're unaffected. And this is not true. We desire for our parents to see our children grow and develop, and we pray for the beginnings of deep meaningful relationships to be formed. We miss grabbing coffee "just because" with some of the people we care most about. And while I wish we could share a lunch with my mom today, or build a sand castle with papa, we cannot.  It's likely I'll shed tears over this for years to come.

So we talk on the phone, and we FaceTime regularly. Like anything else in our lives that is important, we find time and make sacrifices for this. We're currently 6 hours behind the time zone of our parents, so it's not always convenient. But it can work, and we make it. Sometimes we call for a 5 minute show-and-tell. Sometimes we talk longer while my toddler runs in and out of the room. Sometimes we sing songs, and sometimes we end up sharing a meal via the internet because that's the time when both parties are home.  And we try to take lots of pictures.

While furlough (Summer of 2015) extends beyond visiting family, it is one aspect we are especially looking forward to. By then, Justice will be almost four and Micah will be walking and learning to talk. It's hard for us to think our kids will be that big the next time papa sees them. We've wanted our blog to be a place of honesty, so we thought it appropriate to share a little behind the curtain. But it's also a matter of prayer.

We believe we are growing a supportive broader ohana here in Kona, and we pray that continues. We know we will move closer and closer to our neighbors as relationships deepen, as 9 months turns to 2 years, and as 2 years turns to five. We know that our children will cleave to this place, to Kona as their first home, and will adopt much of its culture and language as their own. As missionaries, we invite this into our lives. Our children will identify more with Kona than with Michigan or Virginia. And that's okay, but we also know the love of those that radiate from Michigan and Virginia, and we don't want them to miss that either. So please continue to pray for us as we navigate past loss and toward new possibility, as we try to hold together family relationships and navigate new ones.