Day 4: Big Picture Parenting

A few months ago a good friend challenged us to make a list of qualities/traits/characteristics we want our children to exhibit as teenagers and young adults.  Then she said, "work backwards" in your parenting to make sure those things happen.  I didn't quite understand until she gave us a really simple example like this: I want my children to love reading (as a young adult).  To "work backwards" we ask ourselves, What does my parenting need to look like when my kids are 15? 10? 5? in order for him/her to grow up a reader.  We read a lot in our house, so this was an easy one for me to grasp.

I remember mentioning it to Eric and both of us feeling challenged by the task of coming up with this list.  And then we did nothing.

More recently, my brother-in-law Doug wrote about the same topic. In making their lists, he said something that really stuck with me:

It occurs to me that if we never really articulate and pray through what those specific things are, we are parenting/discipling them in a slightly ambiguous and accidental direction.

You can read more at their blog, and see their initial lists here.

The challenge of coming up with this list is still overwhelming to me.  But I have started.  I have a small notepad where I've jotted down 5 things so far.

• Love reading
• Know and recognize intentionality
• Recognize injustice
• Be a thinker
• Show compassion

I shared this with Eric last week and I think he said something like, "What do you mean by recognize intentionality?" Obviously, we have some work to do.  This list is far too broad to actually have practical, every-day parenting objectives. Hopefully we will work together to write a more concise list in the near future.

One other tidbit, shared by my friend who initially mentioned this (Thanks, Britt!), is to re-visit your list in 3-6 months and then again in 9-12 months.  My guess is, as I become more aware of our goals, the list will get tweaked a bit.